Social Connection
We’ve all heard that relationships matter, but most people underestimate how deeply social connection shapes wellbeing.
Wellbeing is, in part, relational.
We learn to regulate in infancy through caregivers who soothe and reflect our feelings, and throughout adulthood we continue to function best in the presence of safe, supportive relationships. But the impact of social connection goes beyond the nervous system.
It touches identity and acceptance. Our sense of self is shaped through interaction.
We learn who we are through the people who mirror us, respond to us, listen to us, and make space for our internal world. When these mirrors are steady and accepting, we develop a stable sense of self. When they are critical, inconsistent, or absent, our sense of self becomes more fragile. We begin to doubt not only our abilities but our worth. And this process doesn’t end in childhood; it continues to shift and evolve throughout our lives.
A stable sense of self includes the belief that we matter.
Mattering is the feeling that our presence has value and that we hold significance in the lives of others—a perception built through our interactions and relationships.
Mattering grows through everyday actions: asking real questions, remembering details, valuing someone’s input, appreciating their impact, and making them feel included.
At work, only one in five employees are thriving, and the strongest predictors of their wellbeing are not compensation or flexibility but social factors such as feeling like you belong and are included (Indeed, Global Work Wellbeing Report 2024). Mattering at work looks like keeping one-on-one meetings, sharing information from higher-level discussions, bringing people into conversations and opportunities, delegating meaningful responsibilities, acknowledging impact privately and publicly, inviting feedback during change and explaining decisions when it cannot be incorporated, connecting daily work to broader goals, checking in when someone seems off, and repairing quickly after missteps.
These small relational behaviors communicate, “You matter here,” and they have a powerful effect on wellbeing. Employees increasingly want close connections at work, and having a best friend at work is one of the strongest predictors of engagement and wellbeing (Patel & Plowman, 2022, Gallup). We seek these connections because, in their presence, we feel less alone.
In our personal lives, this kind of connection deepens trust, safety, and emotional stability. In the workplace, it builds loyalty, strengthens engagement, and ultimately supports retention.
Here are several key studies and research findings on social connection and well-being:
Patel, A., & Plowman, S. “The Increasing Importance of a Best Friend at Work.” Gallup, 2024.
Harvard Study of Adult Development. “Adult Development Study.” https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/